Leaving Again

It's with a sad heart that I get ready to leave my second family here in Guatemala. They have seen me through so much. They have fed me, cared for me while I was sick, brought me medicine, asked me how I'm doing, and showed me more love than I could ever imagine. They've taught me what it looks like to love without expecting anything in return. So often, when we are hurt over and over again, it gets very easy to become bitter and distrust people in general. We start to assume that everyone had a hidden agenda, and no one is kind unless they want something. This family reminded me that love is always out there, if I remember to keep looking for it. They showed me that I can just accept love, and don't always have to do anything in return.

So many circumstances happened to me this week that reinforced that lesson. My teacher was especially kind, patient, and understanding with me this week as I was trying to learn Spanish while battling the flu. My friends in my group brought me Kleenex and medicine, and took my laundry to the laundromat for me so I wouldn't have to walk that whole distance. The lady at the pharmacy remembered me when I came back to get more cold medicine and asked how I was feeling. Overall, in spite of being sick, I am thankful that I was forced to receive love, because it showed me a tender side of human nature.

Before I left, one of the goals that Sonja set for me, was to learn how to receive. I have always been the one to give, the one to help, the one to care for others. I am not good at having all attention on me, because I'm used to that coming with a price. Favors aren't usually free. That person will eventually expect something in return, and there's no guarantee that I'll be able to follow through with their request. But this week, and this trip, have shown me that I can be loved and not feel selfish. I can be tired and not be judged. I can be sick and get cared for. I can be less than perfect, and that's okay.

We have 15 days left of our journey here. I can't believe it's gone this fast, but at the same time, it feels like I've been here a lifetime.