Hardest Week So Far

I wish I could say that I'm enjoying myself and having a great time here, but that wouldn't be the truth. This week was hard. Not so much the learning of Spanish, but the fact that we have no time to learn it. I have started crying at several of my class sessions because I feel like I have to pack in all the knowledge quickly, because I know I will forget all of it by tomorrow. I would feel better if I had time to practice later, but I know there won’t be any. 

We go straight from breakfast, to school, to our host family for a quick lunch that I usually have to wolf down so I don’t have time to talk, back to the school for a trip or event, back home to, again, wolf down some food as fast as I can, so I can go back to the school for yet another activity, which ends late and then I have to straight home to bed. Most of the time after 1:30pm  is spent thinking, and speaking, in English. The tour guide speaks in Spanish, but a translator is usually there, also, so we don't catch any of the Spanish. 

Of course, I understand that it’s important to learn about the culture of Guatemala, and one or two activities per week I feel like would suffice to be able to experience the culture, as well as the language. I do want to learn about the culture, but not at the expense of learning Spanish, which was my original goal in coming here. Being required to go to every single activity is a little excessive, and takes away from the learning that I could be doing if I just had some time each day to process the new things I learned at school. 

I’m also struggling because I am missing the people back home. I am one of only two people who doesnt have wifi at my host family home, meaning that the only time I’m able to connect with my loved ones is when I’m at school, when I should be studying and learning! So now if I need support or encouragement from home, I have to sacrifice more of my learning time for that. I feel like that should be the last thing I have to sacrifice. It really makes me angry. I realize we have free time on Saturdays and Sundays, but that is absolutely not enough time to receive support from my loved ones at home, or practice my Spanish, which are the most important things I need on this trip right now. 

Despite being in a new country and being with the other group members from Newman, it’s difficult to support each other and encourage each other, when every single person is feeling stressed out, tired, annoyed, and frustrated. None of us are in good shape emotionally right now, so it would be helpful to get encouragement from my loved ones back in the United States who still have their strength and energy and can remind me why I chose to come here. 

I'm sure it will get better with time. Or perhaps, I will do what one of the other girls has already started doing today, and boycott the field trips and extra events that I don't have time to go to. We're hopefully all going to talk to our teacher this weekend and see if there's something she can do. I don't know if it will work, but I can hope for the best.