How will past conflicts influence how the indigenous people see me there? Are they still distrustful of Americans?
How long will it take me to be comfortable in the culture there? What is the best way for me to learn while I’m there?
What things do I need to do to prepare myself, both physically and emotionally, for the journey there?
What can I do to help support some of the younger women in the group while we go?
What parts of my cultural identity will help me to thrive there, and which ones will stand in my way?
I remember as a kid loving the movie “The Road to El Dorado,” a cute Disney movie about two Spaniards who stowaway on a ship and end up as part of one of the Spanish Invasion groups that land in the Mayan culture. They find the mythical town of “El Dorado,” a city paved in gold. One of the big themes of the movie is that the Mayans practice human sacrifice. Everybody in that culture seems okay with it, except the two Spaniards who keep insisting that there will be no human sacrifices, and try to change the Mayans culture. As a kid in American culture, I saw nothing wrong with this. However, upon reading these books and through our class discussions, it’s brought into sharp realization that ethnocentrism, in just that children’s movie. The movie didn't portray the Spaniards as trying to understand the Mayan culture at all. In fact, they spent the whole movie rigging the system so that they could come out on top and maintain their status as “white gods,” like the Mayan people believed they were.
If that doesn't summarize American culture, I don't know what does.
It seems that ethnocentrism is the biggest reigning problem that has made life as awful for indigenous Guatemalans overall. The Guatemala in Focus book covered a lot of the atrocities that happened to them. I was shocked to discover that the United States was behind a lot of it. It says that “In the 1960’s, the US helped to modernize the Guatemalan army by providing helicopters, jeeps, radar, and advice and training. (O’Kane 25) This is what allowed La Escoba to become a holocaust in the 1980’s. People would start disappearing overnight. Many people took refuge in other countries or up into the jungles. Of course, this would make it impossible for them to unite and fight back, especially when the military was so powerful.
As I read this, it brought into sharp realization the situation of one of my most beloved students, Jaime. (The same one who told me not to have my phone out in public because “it will get jacked!”) I try not to pry into the personal lives of my students or their families, especially since I know some of their pasts have been ugly and heartbreaking. I had heard from one of the other teachers that his parents had “escaped a war.” And whenever we would talk about culture in class, I would bring up the fact that there are plenty of Americans who were born here but still speak Spanish as their first language, he would heartily self identify. He proudly identifies as both Guatemalan, and American. I’m now beginning to realize that his parents were probably one of those Mayans who were forced to flee their home country. I hope to be able to get more information on this.
I also came to a sharp realization about how little I knew about Central American culture. In school, when talking about the Cold War, we learned about the major key players: United States, Russia, and Japan. There was never any mention of the fact that American CIA invaded Guatemala. In fact, we never even discussed Guatemala at all. We learned very little about Mexico, and other than my high school Spanish class requiring us to be able to label Central American countries on a map as part of our grade, we studied nothing about any Central American countries. I feel a little disadvantaged that this is my first experience learning about Guatemalan culture, or any Central American culture, for that matter.
When I first saw the list of books that I would have to read for this course, I started to get a little bit nervous. It would not be like my previous undergraduate courses I took over 6 years ago, where I could buy maybe 1 or 2 books from the list and skim read them. I knew right away that this was all going to be information I needed for this trip! I wanted to learn all of it, even if it meant putting in a ton of extra work on the side. One centralized theme in the books, and our in-class discussions, is: “The more prepared you are, the easier it will be to acclimate.” I want to be as ready as I can, even though I know that nothing can fully prepare me for what I face there.
I know will be impossible to completely shed my American culture when I go to Guatemala, but the ability to learn and adapt to the culture will be my biggest advocate while I’m there. According to the Survival Kit for Overseas Living, one of the big American mindsets is “We do things better than you.” (Kohls 14). This unfortunately was the culture that I was raised in, growing up. Everyone had to be white, Christian, middle-class American, and anyone who wasn’t, was someone to be hated or felt pity for. Thankfully, I feel like I have been far removed from that culture. Since starting college, and especially since I started my career as a teacher, I have been blessed enough to get to experience a wide variety of cultures through my colleagues and students.
Once I left my childhood culture, I had a thirst to know about how other people lived. I knew that I grew up sheltered, and so once I got out on my own, nothing became off-limits. When everything used to be forbidden, suddenly when I was free, everything was acceptable. I could hear about customs like polygamy, Wiccan religious practices, eating monkey brains, and not using toilet paper, and be completely okay with the concepts! Very much like what the book emphasized in several chapters, I tried to understand the logic behind each culture, and understand that just because they are different, or what Americans would consider unusual, doesn’t mean they are inherently wrong. I tried everything from every culture I could get access to. I attended a Muslim mosque, and ate halal food with my fingers. I talked with African American people about what different cultural values they were brought up with. I dated a Jewish man for a while and learned all about what makes up that culture. I threw my very first “Cultural Appreciation Day,” this year where my students each had to present their own cultural autobiography to the class, and bring in a special object or food that they considered part of their culture.
I know that this trait of curiosity and openness will serve me well while I am abroad, but I also know there are traits mine that may not. For one, I am very task and goal oriented, which according to the Survival Kit, may be seen negatively by my host culture. (Kohls 82) Another thing that I am worried about is homesickness, as described by Chapter 18 of the Survival Kit. I’m not a very aggressive person by nature, and very open to flexibility, so I doubt that any of the Aggressive Symptoms described on page 96 will manifest themselves. However, I have experienced a lot of the Overall Symptoms list, just on local trips across the country. Anxiety, homesickness, fatigue, self doubt, feelings of inadequacy, unexplained fits of weeping (that one made me laugh because it’s so true!) and physical ailments, all are things that have happened to me quite a bit in my travels. (Kohls 96)
In a way, it is causing me a lot of stress. I know that my host family and other local people will be watching me to see “how the American acts.” Of course, I am aware that I will not be the first American they have encountered in their town, and the host families have probably seen the “unexplained fits of weeping” before, but at the same time, I still want to represent Americans well. Page 66 cautions us to beware of emotion-laden biases. (Kohls 66) I also know that I am very slow to pick up on social nonverbal cues, which is another thing that the book stresses for success. I don’t even pick up on social cues in my own culture, probably due to having that element of growth stunted from childhood.
However, one part of the book did give me hope. It said several times throughout the chapters that many of the local people will be willing, if not excited, to assist me in learning their culture, especially if they can see that I’m actively trying. One skill I have developed most recently as an adult, is the ability to ask for help without feeling shame. I practice this quite a bit, especially as I’m learning Spanish. I have a bilingual para in my classroom who has helped me on a daily basis to practice my Spanish. I will frequently ask her questions about certain words, and the social connotation behind uses of those words. (For example, she was the one who taught me to always use “blanquillos” instead of huevos”). Despite my natural fear of failure and embarrassment, I don’t think it will be large enough to keep me from asking my host family and others for help or advice when I need it.
Finally, I think that drawing on strength from our group will also be a huge advocate. I think we are blessed to have such a wide range of backgrounds and cultures: From Monica, who has never really left home, to Reba who is fluent in Spanish and has parents from Central American backgrounds, to Mel, who is an immigrant herself. It’s also nice to have Marie and Monica, who are two other education majors, with me through this experience, because the three of us all have the same goal in mind: To learn Spanish for the benefit of our students. I know that even during tough times while we are abroad, that common goal will help unite our group and bring us closer.
